When you're about to quit...

Long time, no newsletter :(

I think one of my biggest icks with the personal development space is towards the “everything in your life is your fault” brigade. An important distinction I had to make is rather than blaming myself (because blame is an ick energy too), I instead deem myself responsible. Responsible for changing it, but also being reflective and self-aware enough to see where it stemmed from.

Here’s a formula that I always hold myself accountable to

Thoughts —> feelings —> actions —> results

When you’re about to throw in the towel on something you are working towards, it would have stemmed from your thoughts originally a.k.a your beliefs. Ask yourself this question:

Why did I stop believing?

Sometimes it isn’t obvious what the answer is but with enough reflection, you’ll get there. Another common trip up is doing trauma olympics. Trauma is defined by a lasting emotion left by a distressing event. What you find distressing, is specific to you. Sometimes we feel these lingering emotions and brush it off because we think the event doesn’t constitute trauma or we start comparing it to more traditional traumatic events we see around us or in the news. But I think it’s very important to call it out for what it is in order to deal with it accordingly. Otherwise you’re left with lingering emotions, but without the emotional safety needed in order to deal with it.

This is the space I’ve been in for the last couple of months. I felt demotivated, uninspired, deflated and just generally off. It took me a while to get to the bottom of a turning point that led me to feel like this, and it was something I’d been ignoring for a year. A lot of therapy, introspection and a closer relationship with God later, I feel like I’m ready to close that chapter and re-choose the beliefs that started me off on this path.

I hope this helps if there’s something you were thinking of giving up on. There’s a reason you had the idea in the first place and you’re worthy of what’s waiting for you on the other side.

Stay blessed

Peace x